It’s been awhile since I have written anything. I like to tell myself it’s because I have been busy and my new job made my schedule difficult. But, I know that isn’t all true. My new job has kept me busy, but I still could have written my blog if I had made time for it. The truth is, I let fear overtake my thoughts and stand in my way. I know God has put it on my heart to write a blog, and I know he will provide a way for that to happen.
The past few weeks I have had several different blog ideas in my head. I even started a few, but I was easily distracted and found other things to do instead of focusing on what God has asked me to do. As I was thinking about writing my blog this week, I had a totally different topic in mind that I have been thinking about for a while and will definitely be a blog in the future. But I woke up this morning and really questioned myself as to whether or not I would “find time” to write my blog today.
As my thoughts wandered and I tried to go back to sleep at 6 am, I started to question myself. “Find time, really? What is taking up all of my time that I can’t sit down and write a blog that I know God has asked me to write? Taking a Sunday nap, playing my games on my phone, scrolling through Facebook, watching my tv shows?”
I really began to think about what is keeping me from writing, and I decided it is being at my new job. But not because I don’t have the time, it is because of fear of what people think. I am in a new place and I want people to like me. I don’t want to offend anyone. I share my blog on my Facebook page and the more friends from my new job I have the less time I seem to have to write my blog.
As I was thinking about this and fear, I thought of Paul when he walked on the water.
Matthew 14:25-31 NIV
“Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
I’ve always loved that story and thought how amazing it would be to have faith enough to step out of the boat onto the water. One of my favorite songs is by Casting Crowns it says;
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”
The thing is, I did have enough faith to step out on the water when I started my blog. When I was confronted by people who didn’t like what I was writing or when concerned friends said to me, “You could offend someone and lose your job.” I responded with complete and total faith in my God. So, what happened? I, like Peter, “saw the wind” and took my eyes of Jesus. I lost my faith and began to sink.
I didn’t lose my faith in God, I just got caught up in the world around me and took my eyes off my compass, my grounding point. The longer I was away from my blog the easier it was to not be able to, “find time”. But I called out to Jesus and he pulled me out of the water.
The chorus of the Casting Crowns song “Voice of Truth” says
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I think every time we do what God asks us and it takes us out of our comfort zone we are taking that step of faith and walking on water. The key is to keep our focus on Jesus and not get caught up in the world around us.
I’m just a Small Town Girl…Stepping out of the boat I’m in.